I had a leaking aortic valve and was pregnant. How on earth was I going to give birth?

In the previous part, I mentioned that I was not yet 12 weeks pregnant when it turned out that I had a leaking aortic valve.

We were told that my heart condition had worsened

While I was 13 weeks pregnant with our rainbow baby, the coming weeks would be crucial. My condition (a leaking aortic valve) wouldn't improve. The hope was that it would remain stable, but it could also get worse.

From the first moments after we received the news, all I remember is that I had to cry and my husband asked a lot of questions to my cardiologist. After we left the hospital, something switched inside me. First, there were many practical matters to take care of. In the car, I called my parents, brother, and sister. I could and wanted to tell them without emotion. Everything had to be clear and arranged first, then the emotions would come back. In the car, I also immediately called my supervisor. In the morning, I had let her know that I had to go to the hospital for a few tests and would be back in the afternoon. Now I called her to say that I wouldn't be coming to work for a long time. She was shocked but responded kindly. She would arrange a colleague to take over my duties and I would cancel the appointments for the coming days myself.

When we got home, my husband and I sat at the kitchen table, making lists of what needed to be arranged

It's strange how you enter a mode of practical matters at such times. It makes sense because suddenly I wasn't allowed to do many things like cycling, doing household chores, working, climbing stairs, walking long distances, and exercising. In a family with an active four-year-old schoolchild, this requires some planning. Fortunately, my husband was able to arrange with his work to start later every day, so he could take our daughter to school. On Wednesday, a mother of a friend would bring her back home.

After a week, I had handed over my work

And then the long wait began. It felt like I had to wait so much longer. All I could think about was everything that could go wrong. Of course, I tried to stay positive, but there were many moments when I found this difficult. After two miscarriages, we were so happy with the good ultrasound scans of this little one in my belly. Now there was something else in my body that could potentially throw a wrench in the works. I wanted to enjoy being pregnant, but at the same time, I was afraid of losing this child again. If my heart wouldn't stabilize in the next four weeks, then the first stop would be an attempt at angioplasty. I've been through angioplasty before and it failed twice. Naturally, I was afraid that it wouldn't work again and then I would have to undergo surgery. Such an operation would be manageable for me but not for the baby in my womb. Generally, I am a positive person, but sometimes I assume the worst-case scenario, as I did now. And this preoccupied me (too) much. The first weeks, I found it very difficult to focus on my pregnancy and how welcome this child was. I also thought: 'I wish we hadn't started on our second child wish.' Our daughter would have had a healthy mother, and now it was uncertain how things would go and whether her desired sibling would come and whether I would come out of it completely healthy. All this made the 3.5 weeks until the next heart ultrasound feel very long. Extremely long! My husband was busy with the household, his work, worrying about me and our daughter. I missed him. I needed him so much right now. This just caused more tension. Fortunately, we have always been able to talk about it well. At some point, we just had to accept that we were not on the same page at all. This would be alright again. The weeks crawled by when I wasn't allowed to do anything. I slept, watched TV, and tried to take a short walk each day.

Finally, it was the end of April

The next ultrasound was scheduled. What tension! After that, there was a discussion with my cardiologist. And fortunately, it turned out that my heart had remained stable for the time being. The horror scenarios could be put back in the closet for now, hooray! The cardiologist was clear: "For the rest of your pregnancy, you keep doing what you're doing now, which is very little". What a relief! The steps I had taken (or rather hadn't actually) had paid off for myself and fortunately for the baby too (who kept growing nicely!). From that moment on, I was able to let go of the tension more and more and I started to enjoy the pregnancy and the rest I was taking. I realized that I was approaching an exciting, but also a special period. In any case, I would be able to enjoy my pregnancy undisturbed and everything around it. As long as I focused on that, things went well. It would also be my last pregnancy so another reason to pause at everything and enjoy like crazy.

The subsequent studies consistently showed that my heart remained stable

A procedure would be necessary, but could wait until after the birth of our baby. When I was 30 weeks pregnant, we heard that I would have a cesarean section under general anesthesia. I found this quite a disappointment. Especially because things were going so well, I had hoped that I would be allowed to give birth by cesarean with an epidural so that I could be present. Our eldest was born via an emergency cesarean section, which I could hardly remember. The fact that I would not experience any of it this time made me very sad and upset. That's when I decided I wanted to know the gender of the baby in my womb. This was because I was in need of some positive news. My husband had known the gender for a few weeks, so he told me. What a special moment. With shining eyes, he told me that we were going to have a daughter. What a celebration, two girls. For both of us, a dream come true!

My cesarean section was scheduled for October 4th... Would it remain stable for that long?

TO BE CONTINUED…

MARY